Interview with a mother with Crohn's disease: How Fabiola gives courage and breaks taboos

My everyday life is often not as plannable and structured as it probably should be in family life. That's because I frequently have to set new priorities, sometimes daily. Simply adjusted to my state of health. With kids, that's often a balancing act. But over the years you get more experienced. The kids get more "practiced" too, and daily life becomes easier for everyone. On good days, we live through the "normal" chaos of a big family here. That includes trips to the playground, meeting friends, appointments, sports club sessions, and so on. It's different when my illnesses limit me severely. Then the day plays out mostly at home. I usually sit on the couch. We order food. Appointments and plans often have to be canceled.

After my diagnosis, as a brand-new mom, I felt pretty alone. I had an insane number of questions and no answers. After falling into a real hole for a while, I got psychological support and eventually started a self-help group on Facebook. For women with IBD, or women whose children have IBD. A year later I took the leap to Instagram, and that's how it all got started.

When I started on Instagram, it didn't take long before I came across the lovely Eva (founder of CG). We had a great exchange, got to know each other more closely and in person fairly quickly, and together with three other people affected, we joined Eva's team as volunteers. By now there are many of us on the team, and we complement each other wonderfully. Being part of an association like this and connecting and exchanging even more intensively with the IBD community gives you such an intense, motivating, and uplifting boost and strength that you hardly get anywhere else. The IBD community really is something special. Everyone strives to be there for each other, to lift each other up. The association is very important to me, and so are the people in it. The community has grown a lot over the past few years, and that clearly shows that people long to be seen, heard, and accepted with their illness. IBD and its symptoms quickly lead to those affected feeling alone, being ashamed, and suffering from depression. Chronisch Glücklich is my safe space with like-minded people, and I'd say others feel the same. If I may, I'd like to give the best team and the best association a virtual hug right here and tell Eva that she has created something truly important and valuable.

Yes, absolutely. I share my experiences and expertise as a chronically ill mom with others who are affected. Mainly the topics are pregnancy, breastfeeding, and motherhood.

Before my IBD diagnosis, I had serious problems with hemorrhoids and a chronic anal fissure. Back then, still a topic surrounded by a lot of shame, which is why I didn't dare go to the doctor for many months. Until a year later I developed a perianal thrombosis, and another six months after that I even had to have anal surgery. The proctologist I saw back then gave me a lot of valuable tips on butt hygiene, and so I stopped using toilet paper or wet wipes. I always rinsed off in the shower. Which was a bit trickier when I was out and about or didn't have a tub. But I noticed right away how much better it was, and of course cleaner! And then I discovered Bidetlity! I tried it right away and was thrilled! I used it even after the birth of my daughter! I honestly can't imagine how you'd get properly and gently clean down there without it. My youngest son loves it too. He can't go to the toilet without it.

I'd rather ask why they're hesitant. Butt hygiene shouldn't be a trend. It shouldn't be used just because you want to be more sustainable. Or because you have problems with hemorrhoids, etc. EVERYONE should wash down there with water. Let's please be honest and de-stigmatize the fact that toilet paper does NOT get you clean enough. Period. In Muslim countries, or in many southern regions, people always wash down there with water. Where there are no bidets, there are always jugs of fresh water next to the toilets, or people take a small water bottle with them into public restrooms. We now have the option of conveniently taking our butt showers with us and even cleaning down there with enough water pressure from the butt shower. So I tell people very clearly: if they're not washing "properly" yet and it still feels unfamiliar, then a butt shower is exactly the right thing! For big people and little ones ☺️.